


Never Too Late to Make Amends

by CitybytheBayside



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 05:37:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18750100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitybytheBayside/pseuds/CitybytheBayside
Summary: A heated fight seems to end Eren and Mikasa’s long term friendship. Will Eren be able to set things right?





	Never Too Late to Make Amends

Mikasa had begun dating Jean during the summer, and it infuriated Eren to no end. Jean was a pompous, egotistical ass, and Mikasa deserved better. Eren held his tongue for months, after they began Grade 12,  after Halloween, Christmas and Easter. But with two weeks remaining in the school year he couldn't any longer. This resulted in an intense fight between him and Mikasa. Suddenly, their friendship that began over 16 years ago while they were in diapers was suddenly over. Mikasa refused to speak to him, hurt over what he said.

This caused a massive conflict amongst their large group of friends. They'd all grown up together, and now two key members of the group were on bad terms.

"I can't believe this. Those two were virtually attached to the hip." Krista remarked in disbelief.

"Eren and Jean did always had issues with one another." Bertolt said.

"He just hates that Mikasa is dating him." Armin said, head resting on hand. The fallout affected him alot more than the others as he was best friends with them both.

"It's pretty selfish when you think about it." Sasha said.

"How so?" Connie asked.

Sasha elaborated. "Did he expect her to never date anyone just because he was too stupid to realize how she felt about him? The only person she looked at like that was Eren. No one else. Can't blame her for giving up. And it's just selfish for him to think she can't go out with Jean. He at least paid attention."

Armin listened intently. Eren never did broadcast his feelings, but it didn't mean he didn't feel the same way. At least he thought.

"Look at him over there." Krista said. Armin turned to see Eren sitting and eating. There wasn't an emotion on his face. Armin knew that he was pretty lost without Mikasa.

The rest of the day passed by. Mikasa spoke to the group but Eren did not. He left after school ended quietly and this would be what it was like for over a week.

* * *

 

Mikasa walked into the apartment she lived in with her older brother Levi. When their parents passed away, Mikasa was in Grade 8 and Levi in his first year of college. Now he was working as a junior associate at a local law firm. Tomorrow was the official graduation ceremony, and Mikasa had her pick of the litter of any school she wanted. But she was gonna wait a few weeks before making a final decision.

"Hey Levi." she greeted.

"Mikasa." he replied.

"Petra here?" Petra Ral, Levi's high school friend and now fiancée.

"She'll be by later. How was school?"

"Fine."

"Any word from Jaeger?"

She sighed. "Nope. Don't much want to hear from him anyway."

"You two were friends for a long time. Surprised to see it come to an end in such an unpleasant way."

"Well, times change. People change. That chapter in my life is firmly closed."

Levi hummed in response.

"I'm gonna be having dinner at Jean's tonight."

"Alright. Don't be late home."

"I'll try not to be. See you later!"

Levi watched as his sister exited the room. He sighed and shook his head.

* * *

 

Over at Armin's house, he and Eren thumbed through some graduation itineraries. Armin was set to attend Briar University to major in History. Eren had no plans for college yet. He was taking the year off to mull his future, despite having early acceptance to Briar as well.

"Hard to believe it's over a week from now, huh?" Armin offered.

Eren nodded halfheartedly, his mind evidently elsewhere.

Armin sighed. "Why not just apologize?"

"I can't. I can't just apologize, Armin."

"Why not?"

"Because I still feel that way. I can't stand Jean."

"You tolerated him before."

"Yeah. Before."

"So it is about Mikasa then."

"No-"

"Eren, don't even try. If it's not Jean, it's Mikasa. You're mad because you want to be with her."

"You're imagining things."

"How am I, the proof is all there. You two, friends since birth pretty much. Any other guy in her life, you flip. You love her Eren. More than a friend."

Eren didn't reply. Armin pried further.

"Why didn't you tell her?"

".....I stupidly thought I didn't have to."

Armin raised an eyebrow.

Straightening up, Eren continued. "You said it yourself, Armin. Friends since birth pretty much. I didn't feel that close to anyone in my life. In a way, I always saw her as my girlfriend. But I never said a fucking word. Because I'm an idiot. A selfish fucking idiot. And so I lost her. I deserved to lose her. She's happy with Jean. Least I can do is respect her happiness."

Armin processed his friends words, a sense of annoyance developing in him.

"So you're gonna do the same thing that got you here. Not say anything, again."

Eren looked up at him. "What's there to say? No matter what, Armin, I'm fucking something up. I missed out on her. She's with Jean. He's her first girlfriend, he was her prom date-“

“Actually Jean got sick on prom so they didn’t go.”

“Whatever, regardless Jean is gonna be her first everything."

“Wouldn’t say that.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Eren asked as he looked back to an itinerary.

"They haven't kissed."

This grabbed Eren’s attention again. "What?"

"They. Haven't. Kissed. Jean was telling Reiner that the other day. Like she's holding back for some reason."

Eren sighed. "Doesn't mean anything. She hates me. I'm not going to keep ruining her life."

Armin shook his head. "Eren, 20 years from now you're going to look back to these years, living a life that's far from what you wanted. And you're going to see Mikasa, married, maybe to Jean, maybe to someone else. And you're going to hate it. Because you regretted not speaking up now, when it means something. 20 years from now will be far too late. And it'll only be your own fault."

Eren sat silently. Armin looked at the clock. "Look, it's late. We gotta be up early for tomorrow's ceremony. I'll see you then, alright?"

Eren merely nodded. He gathered his things and left, Armin's words haunting his thoughts.

* * *

 

7:00 AM

"Eren, wake up!" Carla Jaeger called up to her son. Eren rose slowly and sat on the side of his bed for a moment. Today was the day.

"Carla, stop fussing over the boy, he's presentable enough." Grisha Jaeger remarked.

"Hundreds of people will be taking pictures, do you want your son to appear scruffy in any of them?" she threw back.

"Mom, seriously, I'm fine, I'm presentable."

Carla smiled, then slightly frowned. "You know, I dreamed of this day for awhile. And I'd hoped to take pictures of you, Mikasa and Armin."

Eren looked downward. "I'm sorry."

Carla nodded slightly. "It's ok." "Ready to go?" Grisha asked.

* * *

 

In the private waiting room for the graduates, Eren gazed at the roster of names in the pamphlet handed out.

_Kyojin High School Class of 2017_

_Mikasa Ackerman_

_Armin Arlert_

_Sasha Blouse_

_Marco Bodt_

_Reiner Braun_

_Mina Carolina_

_Sandra Cauldoni_

_Hannah Diamant_

_Hitch Dreyse_

_Boris Feulner_

_Ymir Fritz_

_Bertolt Hoover_

_Floch Ivanans_

_Eren Jaeger_

_Franz Kefka_

_Jean Kirschtein_

_Krista Lenz_

_Annie Leonhardt_

_Samuel Linke-Jackson_

_Tom Mulder_

_Daz Needham_

_Marlowe Sand_

_Connie Springer_

_Nac Tius_

_Thomas Wagner_

_Milius Zeramuski_

A good crop of friends. Some likely to remain in contact more than others. But the way things were right now he wouldn't be surprised if no one ever talked to him again. A teacher came into the room to inform them it was time for the ceremony, which happened so quickly, Eren temporarily thought that he had hit some sort of fast forward. As if the moment he sat down they were once again standing The graduates gathered and tossed their caps into the air. Eren had spotted Mikasa in the crowd, both briefly making eye contact. She didn't look angry, or sad. Just indifferent, a look cast to those not important in her life. Jean appeared and guided her away. Eren stood alone, his parents amongst the crowd.

"You fucked up hard, Jaeger."

He turned and saw Levi behind him.

"Hey Levi." Eren replied solemnly. "I know-"

"Don't go sounding sorry for yourself, change the situation you created. If you don't, it's not gonna be weighing heavy on anyone but you."

Eren didn't get a chance to respond as Petra came and dragged Levi away. Eren feigned happiness through a few more pictures before ducking out of the ceremony. There was to be a big party at Reiner's house, one last group gathering before going their separate ways. Eren wasn't in attendance. Armin frowned when he realized this.

Eren drove around town for a bit after the ceremony, to gather his thoughts. He was out of high school, none of his friends were very fond of him right now, he wasn't planning on going to school in the fall. He had nothing holding him to this town anymore. He soon turned into the parking lot of the train station.

* * *

 

_"You heard me Mikasa, he's no good! You could do way better!"_

_"Says who, you?! What makes you think you know who's best for me or not?!"_

_"I don't, but I know Jean and he's not who's best for you! If you can't see that, you must be stupid!"_

_No response from Mikasa, a shocked anger evident on her face. Eren, horrified, began to apologize._

_"Mika, I didn't-"_

_"Save it, asshole. Here's me thinking you of all people would be happy for me. I guess we both don't know a thing about about one another, do we?"_

_"Mikasa-"_

_"Don't. I'm done with you. Take this back."_

_"Your scarf? Mikasa, you never-"_

_"Goodbye, Eren." with the slam of the door, she was gone._

The conversation left such a bitter taste in his mouth. And if he was leaving town there was zero chance that was going to be their final conversation.

Pulling onto Reiner's street, anxiety rattled through him. The same question burned through his thoughts. What will I say? What will I say? What needs to be said. He parked out front and looked towards the house. Many of his classmates were there. Connie saying something to Bertolt and Mina that made them laugh. Marco with his girlfriend Ilse Langnar talking to Ymir. After a few minutes of mustering his courage back up, he got out of his car and made his way to the front door.

_Knock knock knock_. What felt like an explosion of music greeted Eren as Reiner opened the door. A look of surprise developed on his face.

"E-Eren. Hey man, I didn't think you were coming."

"Yeah, I wasn't really planning to, but there's something I need to do. Mikasa's still here, is she not?"

"Yeah, I think she's out back."

"Think you could see if she would see me for a minute?"

"Uh, sure, but I don't know if she'll agree."

"Tell her it's important."

"Alright Eren. I'll be back in a minute." Reiner went inside the house again, leaving Eren outside. After a few minutes, the front door pulled open and Eren tensed. Mikasa stood in front of him now. Her arms folded and her stare icy. She looked at him with such contempt, that cold disinterested look she gave him at graduation present as if it never left her face since. All the years of friendship seemed like they never happened with that one look.

"What do you want?" she asked sternly.

Eren swallowed. "I wanted to say some things to you. Things I need to be made known."

"Get on with it then. I was in the middle of spending time with my friends and boyfriend, you know the one. Sandy hair, tall, apparently not good enough for me." she snipped.

Eren sighed. "Mikasa, I'm not going to pretend I didn't say that. But it's far from I meant to say."

"Which was what exactly, Eren? You always seem to claim you mean the opposite of what comes out of your mouth."

"Because I'm a prick."

Mikasa furrowed her brow, irritation still evident but now an added confusion in it. Eren continued.

"I'm a prick. There's no other way of putting it. I'm a selfish prick. I've either never said the things I should've said, or say it in the wrong way and hurt the people around me. It pisses me off to no end that I hurt you the way I did, and for that I'm sorry."

Mikasa sighed. "It's alri-"

Eren shook his head. "No. No it's not alright Mikasa, far from it. I've been doing that to you for all the time I've known you. Ignored you, hurt you and I never apologized for that. Because I've been so goddamn selfish, only caring about myself. And it's time I stop doing that. For your sake. Cause you, you stood by me regardless of all that. And you had many reasons to give up on me, many reasons to wash your hands of my bullshit prior to now. So it's time I stop. It's time I tell you the truth. Why I don't like that you're with Jean." Eren breathed in deeply, but immediately went back to speaking, afraid he'd lose his nerve. "I lied when I said Jean wasn't good enough. He's perfect for you, Mika. He's smart. He pays attention to you. He can do right by you. The reason why I said those things....was because I was jealous."

Mikasa's eyes widened.

"I loved you. I still do. I always will. And I was mad because I never said anything. I just assumed that I didn't need to say it because I got too used to you being there by my side and figured you would always be there. That's my selfishness in all its fucking glory right there. And being the selfish prick I am, I got it into my head Jean had stolen you from me. But he didn't. He can't steal what was never mine to begin with, and never deserve to have. If I was smart I would've paid attention, got my head out of my ass. Realize that there was a girl who wanted me to say I love her the same way she loved me. And when she finally gave up on him he goes and makes her feel like crap for it. That wasn't fair of me."

Mikasa was speechless. She kept attempting to say something but no words found their way to formation.

Eren blinked furiously, his eyes burning. The regret of the past weeks all stirring around in his mind. "I want you to be happy. I want you to be really happy in life. And if Jean contributes to that, I'm fine with that. I lost my chance. I'm sorry, Mikasa. I'm really sorry."

Tears developed in the corners of her eyes. It really sucked not being on good terms with her best friend. And to hear him say these things was such a relief. The animosity no longer there.

Eren looked at his phone and sighed. "I have to go. I needed so badly to say that."

"W-wait, go? You're not going to-"

Eren lightly shook his head. "I can't. I love you, Mikasa, but I can't keep hurting you. And if I stay, I know I'll do it again. I want you to be happy, but it kills me to see you with Jean. Not because I hate him. Because I want so badly to be in his place. But I can't be."

Mikasa looked towards his car and saw some bags in the back.

"I'm leaving town. I have to."

Mikasa looked to the ground sadly.

"Where will you go?"

He shrugged. "I don't know yet. But it can't be here."

The two friends stood facing one another silently for another moment before Eren moved towards his car. He returned to her, a familiar red cloth in his hands and proceeded to wrap it around her neck.

"I gave this to you when we were 9, because we got lost in the backwoods and you were cold and scared. You remember that?"

She nodded.

"I wanted you to keep it always. I still do. Now, just so I know a piece of me is still with you."

Tears bled down her cheeks as she looked at him. Her hands softly closed around his arm. "Please don't go."

Those words punched him in the gut hard. But he knew he had to go. He pulled her close for a hug. She wrapped her arms tight around him. Somewhere in her mind she thought if she just held tight enough- But Eren pulled away anyway. Planting a kiss on her forehead, he walked away.

"Goodbye, Mikasa."

She watched as he got into his car and drove off into the night. Her emotions were running fast. Relief, sadness, shock. She pulled the scarf over her mouth as she returned to the house. It soon became evident to her that there were people looking at her. Looking up, the entire party had stopped and witnessed her discussion with Eren.

"How long were you guys watching?" she asked.

"Pretty much the whole time." Connie said bluntly.

"Sorry Mikasa. But your guys's falling out was a pretty big deal." said Sasha.

"So where's he going?" Jean asked.

"Out of town. Said he couldn't stay." Mikasa replied, looking towards the ground.

Jean remained silent for a moment. "You know that every year in school all of us would take bets or polls to see how long it would take for you guys to start going out?"

Mikasa looked up at him. "I think Bertolt always lost the most money because he'd always bet for at the end of the year. Am I right Bertolt?"

Bettolt nodded in agreement. "I lost $45 in 7th grade over it."

Mikasa furrowed her brow. "Jean, what are you getting at?"

Jean chuckled lightly and placed a kiss to her hand. "Go after him. Stop him."

"But Jean-"

"Mikasa. Go. End all our collective frustrations and finally get together with that dolt."

She lingered for another moment. "Thank you, Jean." He nodded in response.

She turned and began hurrying to her car. She stopped. "I don't know where he's going." she said aloud.

"Train station." she heard Armin say from behind her. She turned to see him in the front seat of her car.

"He texted me that his car would be parked there for me to pick up."

She gave him a quizzical look.

"Fat chance I'm missing this saga come to an end. Now get in. His train leaves in 35 minutes."

Mikasa nodded, racing to the passenger seat. Once she was in Armin sped off.

* * *

 

"Almost there." Armin said as they closed in on the train station. Mikasa was barely sitting still. What if they missed him? _We'll just follow the train until it stops, she told herself_. No way she was letting things end like that.

Armin screeched to a halt in the parking lot after spotting Eren's car. Mikasa practically leapt out of the car. Armin stepped out of the car too, watching her run. Mikasa didn't look back. There wasn't any time. She scanned the station for any sign of Eren. As she reached the end of the platform, she saw him, getting up from a bench to approach the train. He was just about to board when she called his name.

"Eren!" He stopped immediately, turning to her, eyes wide in surprise.

"Mikasa?"

She came to a stop a few feet in front of him. They stared at each other for a moment, anticipating each other to say the first word.

Mikasa caught her breath, and swallowed. "Don't go." she finally said.

Eren sighed. "Mikasa-"

"You told me back there you didn't want to keep hurting me. You get on that train, Eren Jaeger, and that would be the most hurtful thing you'd ever do to me."

Eren looked down at the ground. "What about Jean? Surely he-"

"We're finished."

Eren looked back up at her. “What?”

She nodded. "Apparently they've all been betting on when we would finally get together. He let me go."

Eren huffed in amusement. "Part of me thinks we should've got a cut."

Mikasa smiled as she walked towards him. He looked away to the ground.

"Mika, a smart person like yourself shouldn't saddle herself with such an idiot like me. You don't deserve that."

She stopped directly in front of him. "It's true, you're an idiot. But you're an idiot who makes me happy." She took his hand in her own. Eren found himself sliding his free hand onto her cheek, her short black hair flowing over the hand. "And you said I deserve anything that makes me happy."

Eren nodded. "I did."

Her soft charcoal eyes looked at him, love gleaming in them. "I love you, Eren."

"I love you too Mikasa." he replied, finally leaning in to kiss her on the lips. He curled his arm around her waist to hold her, fully cherishing the moment.

"I've been wanting...to do that since we were 9 years old." she said softly after they parted lips.

Eren smiled. "I was too afraid to try. But I'm not gonna do that anymore. I'm done not saying what I need to say."

Mikasa smiled again. "I'm glad." She took hold of his hand and began walking backward. "Come on. Armin is waiting in the parking lot."

Eren laughed. "I'm shocked he wasn't right behind you the whole time."

The couple re-entered the parking lot, spotting Armin leaning against the car.

"Caught him I see."

Mikasa nodded. "Thanks you for getting me here in time."

Eren clapped his hand onto the blonde's shoulder. "Yes. Thank you, Armin."

Armin just shrugged. “I’m just glad you’re putting all of us out of a shared feeling of frustration.”

The group laughed amongst themselves. “You guys wanting to go back to the party? I’m sure everyone’s wanting to know what happened.”

Mikasa looked at Eren. “Do you?”

Eren nodded. “It’s graduation. It’s gonna be a long time before we see all of them all together again. Just give me a sec. Gotta go-“

He watched as the train he was gonna be on departed.

“Get my stuff.” he finished, his tone holding notes of annoyance.

Mikasa came up behind him and took his hand. “That trains next stop is just five minutes out of town. We can go after it before we go back.” she offered.

He smiled, nodding. They waved Armin off and headed to Eren’s car.

“So who’s collecting the most winnings?” Eren asked.

“I wouldn’t put it past Armin to clean out the pot. He always tends to have a good beat on things.”

Eren stopped for a moment. Mikasa looked to him.

“You’ll tell me when or if I’m being a fool, right? I don’t think I could handle you not liking me again.”

Smiling, she nodded. “I will. I imagine I’ll be saying it a lot though.”

“Meanie.” he teased with a scoff, kissing her again. He treasured the moment, and realized with joy that whatever the future held, it would be faced with her by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I’ve been kicking around for about three years now. I find it to be a bit similar to earlier works with a similar plot line but I found it again recently and figured I may as well post it.


End file.
